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Old 07-20-2014, 11:14 AM
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Default How It All Began Birth of the Internet

How It All Began Birth of the Internet
According to the Bible

In ancient Israel ,
it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take
unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com
was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto
Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town
with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied,
"I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send
messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling
you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and
delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and
decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums
rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he
had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To
prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were
saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It
was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed
a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the
greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic
Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land
was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of
drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that
enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off
every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made
that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks. And
Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by
others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as
it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we
are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it
YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious
Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's
drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as
God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began. And that's the truth
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